Running wild - my muddy moment of madness

Out of all the crazy ideas we’ve had — and believe me, there have been a few — I’ll take full ownership of this one. This was my brainchild. Something I’d been mulling over for a while, waiting for the right moment to unleash. And that moment arrived one cold, grey morning somewhere “in the middle of nowhere"

The plan? To head out into the woods, strip off and run wild through the mud. The messier, the better. But before we get to the muddy photos let me explain how we got there because this wasn’t just about getting filthy for the fun of it.

When the Mind Gets Muddy Too

This all happened back in 2020 — a year that chewed us up and spat us out in new and unexpected ways. On paper, I was fine. I had my job, my family, and our studio to keep us busy. But somewhere along the line, things started to unravel.

Out of nowhere, I found myself dealing with anxiety for the first time in my life. Not the mild sort where you just feel a bit uneasy — I mean the full physical, heart-racing, can’t-catch-your-breath kind. My first panic attack hit me while walking to work. My heart was pounding, my vision blurred, and I felt like I was about to collapse.

I managed to call Ginny, who was nearby on the school run. She met me, walked me home and sat with me while I tried to calm down. I made it into work later that day — because that’s what you do, right? You just carry on. But inside, I knew something wasn’t right.

Work were great about it — they offered to talk, gave me helpline numbers and websites — but honestly, when your mind’s spinning, you don’t even know where to begin.

Over the following weeks, my moods were all over the place. I’d have good mornings followed by sudden crashes. I was emotional, snappy and had zero patience for customers. It felt like the entire world had lost its marbles and I was just trying not to lose mine completely.

The studio, our creative outlet, wasn’t the escape I needed either. Between lockdowns, reduced numbers and endless rules, it lost some of its spark. Our life drawing sessions were positive but patchy. The joy of running our studio felt buried under the weight of “restrictions” and “guidelines.”

To top it off, we’d postponed our wedding — the right decision, but still a tough one.

I was struggling with sleep too. Bad dreams, constant wake-ups, and the kind of 3am overthinking that eats away at your sanity. I’d wake up drained and grumpy, and round it all went again.

Finding a Way Out (or at Least a Distraction)

At some point, I realised I needed to shake things up. To literally get out of my own head.

That’s where the mud came in.

We decided to head out one morning, just to get away from it all. No grand plan, no agenda — just a need for quiet, space and fresh air. The sun was low, the mist was lifting, and it was a crisp 4°C. Perfect conditions for… stripping naked and rolling in mud, obviously.

Ginny grabbed the camera, I ditched the clothes, and off I went — barefoot into the freezing earth. The first few steps were agony. The mud squelched between my toes, icy water numbed my feet, and my brain screamed, “What the hell are you doing?”

But then something clicked.

I found a puddle, jumped in, and started laughing. Proper belly laughter — the kind I hadn’t felt in weeks. I didn’t care about the cold or the wet or how ridiculous I looked. I ran around, posed for photos, sat down, lay down, and just was. Covered head to toe in mud, freezing cold, and absolutely free.

More Than Just Mud

This wasn’t meant to be deep. It started as a bit of fun for some photos, but it became something more. For those few hours, I forgot about the chaos. No news headlines. No anxious thoughts. Just me, nature, and mud.

When we got home, I needed both a shower and a long hot bath. My feet didn’t thaw for hours. But mentally? I felt lighter. Calmer. Grounded again — if you’ll pardon the pun.

The photos that came out of it are more than just images. They’re reminders of a moment when I stopped trying to control everything and just let go. I could pick them apart — the wrinkles, the hair loss, the extra pounds — but that’s not what this was about. This was about being human.

Looking Back Now

I've decided to share this story because I know I wasn’t alone back then and I’m certainly not now. So many people struggled and still do. Anxiety, stress, uncertainty… it’s all part of being human, especially in the strange times we’ve lived through.

I’m lucky. I have a partner who gets me, two amazing kids who keep me smiling and a creative outlet that reminds me life is still full of colour (and mud).

So if you’re reading this and struggling, reach out. Message us. You’re not alone. Or, if you fancy doing something completely ridiculous to blow off steam — like running naked through a muddy field — we’ll bring the camera.

If you fancy reading my full story and seeing all the photographs my E-book can be purchased from our website here

Take care of yourselves

Chris | Bare With Us 🌿